child of God

God has just been so wonderful... Now i really understand wat Lordship is... many a times, He is Savior yet not Lord of my life. He is not satisfied when we give him remnants of our lives or even 80%. He wants ALL... for us to let go and to let God. Have u tried walking in a pitch black room? Not knowing wat is in front of u..not knowing whether there is a step or ditch or drain.... u just tell God, i trust You. You lead me, wherever u want me to go...try it... it's super scary, i do it sometimes to to see how willing am i to let go and let God lead me...in the dark ...even if u fall, God will pick u up...

Do u trust Him? Is He the Lord ur Shepherd?

Are you willing to follow Him to d darkest valleys and the deepest seas?

We confess wid our mouths dat He is Lord but do we believe in our hearts dat He is the Son of God?

Many a times i have to question myself n ask myself very practical questions. Why do i still willfully disobey when i no God is not pleased? Isn't He Lord? If i have totally made Him Lord, shudn't i submit.... so often i struggle to justify my life before my God...all i find is mercy, kindness and a loving Father...hurt by my disobedience, yet so lovingly wid open arms awaits my return...a gentle voice saying...

"Repent, my child. I love you. I will forgive you and cleanse you if u would just come to me. I will take away all the ugliness, all the guilt. I will love you wid an everlasting love and i will draw you with loving kindness."

I alwiz have conversations wid God tru out the day.... d usual grousing about life... or help God! Sos! Den there is the "i love you, God" Yea...give God good nite hugs n kisses to my Big Daddy in heaven... if my daughter gives me a good nite hugs n kisses everyday i will be happy...jus feel God's pleasure... He is happy wid me... we have a close bond. We understand each other well. I x describe this feeling... i jus no God is smiling down from heaven on me...

"I'm pleased, my child. You are doing well. Go on... trust me, i will lead you. Cont to run the race, you will receive d prize in due time."

Jus feel such joy knowing I'm living my life for my God. And He is pleased wid me. Find it so easy to worship, pray n read the bible nowadays, it's no longer a chore...it jus comes so naturally...i tok to God same as i breathe eat n sleep...like I'm made for it. X struggle wid my flesh... jus victory after victory in every area.once i submit to God, He will change my heart.... n d actions will naturally come.

Being a child of God comes so naturally.... x doing anything...jus being....wat i m made to be.... fitting perfectly in God's plan. Like a nicely fitting puzzle... x missing holes or ill fitting parts. Sometimes when i screw up i feel like i'm jus screwing up God's plans....like a cacat piece of puzzle.... x fit nicely... no longer am i faraway or struggling wid myself, struggling against God.... but i'm yielding...like a reed when God bends me to His will, i bend.... refiner's fire, yes, i've been tru some fires, it's not nice to be burnt, yet when it is necessary, God allows trials n persecutions to mould us into His likeness.

Really thx God for the lessons i have learnt. They will last for life... i m repenting.... find it so much easier to surrender to His ways, cos now i no wat it is to be broken, on my knees, true surrender of heart, spirit, mind n soul....still struggling at times... yet i no when it's time to submit to Him, i will submit...in His time, He is teaching me obedience, if i want to put it this way...blind obedience, jus obey watever my master tells me to do and have faith, it will not harm me in any way.

As Abraham had faith to sacrifice his son Isaac we need to be able to give up our idols to God, watever we hold precious, not necessary stg bad...is it our families, is it our frens, is it our material possessions, who sits at the throne of our hearts? Is it Jesus? Or is it urself? Is He Lord or r u lord of ur heart? I find myself stubbornly refusing to dethrone myself n causing myself much hurt and suffering before i learn to surrender....worship is about surrendering... n it's not passive. It's not jus let go and let it be but let go, and let God. It's about actively making Him Lord over your life everyday... actively declaring Him as Lord over ur mind, body, soul and spirit.... giving Him the reverence He deserves daily...all glory to You, my Father, my lover.

Are you willing to surrender? If you are, will you surrender to the One who died for you?

Till here for now...my frens. Hope i have encouraged, entertained or challenged you in some way. May you have a blessed life! :) God loves you. Me too.