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amazing grace was awesome... it's movie by the way for those who are wondering what th heck i am rambling on about... about a man who fought long and hard to abolished slave trade.... it is titled amazing grace because it's the story of the man who wrote the song "amazing grace". He was the captain of a slave trade ship. the cruelty, inhumane suffering that he witnessed led him to write this song i believe. the description of being traded like animals, shipped in cubicles the size of standing coffins, with no proper sanitation or waste disposal.... dying of despair or dysentery.... it all seems a vague and faraway... yet it is the brutal fact of life that it all happened... and how evil and deprived men can be... an inspiring movie that a few men and women can change what seemed a hopeless act of cruelty into a crusade of hope, justice and freedom for people who were undefended.... some day i wished i could do the same... fight for something i have a real passion for, do something to make this world a better place....

          The U in JesUs

               Before U were thought of or time had begun,
               God even stuck U in the name of His Son.
               And each time U pray, you'll see it's true
               You can't spell out JesUs and not include U.
               You're a pretty big part of His wonderful name,
               For U, He was born; that's why He came.
               And His great love for U is the reason He died.
               It even takes U to spell crUcified.
               Isn't it thrilling and splendidly grand,
               He rose from the dead, with U in His plan?

               The stones split away, the gold trUmpet blew,
               and this word resUrrection is spelled with a U.
               When JesUs left earth at His Upward ascension,
               He felt there was one thing He just had to mention.
               "Go into the world and tell them it's true,
               That I love them all - Just like I love U."
               So many great people are spelled with a U,
               Don't they have a right to know JesUs too?
               It all depends now on what U will do,
               He'd like them to know, But it all starts with U.
                                                --- Author Unknown

Is God calling you to do something difficult? Perhaps to take a missions
trip to help people in need. Or to witness to someone throwing her life
away with bad decisions. Or to show kindness and love in a relationship
that needs encouragement. If you aren’t sure you can do it, ask God to
help you. Then, trusting your loving heavenly Father, dive toward that
goal. It could be the best play of your life. —Dave Branon

Prior to ripping out the wires of relationships, we could check to see if patience and forgiveness are connected in our own heart.

It’s good to look inside our heart—to check the obvious first—even when it feels as if all our problems are caused by others. —David C. McCasland

I’ll check within my own heart first,
The obvious to see,
That faults I find in others
Are really faults in me. —D. De Haan

this is so true. seeking God's will in my life was more a out look searching for things that are external. and today's daily bread devotion reminded me, i should do some soul searching, look inside my heart and check what's obvious rather than to look outward for something obscure. hoping God will show me some sign however small. I should check the condition fo my heart whether there are any issues that are obviously wrong or need to be brought before God.

And i somehow know, i could be more patient, i could be more forgiving.

i m down....

more down that i've ever been in a long time... i don't want to talk bout it.... yet in my blues,
i see the people who cares for me, and i am touched that in my darkness.... people who i take for granted around me really care and love me... maybe this is God's wake up call for me.... i need to see things differently... i need to have a different perspective of my life....

sayang and big pot of nasi beriani that we made together.... was delicious.... hehe.... we ate nasi beriani for 3 days.... (he said he looks as sweaty as a pork belly?, got meh?)

with the phillipinos at EN 07.... can see the letters in the background?

gluttony at krispy kreme's, bonifacio high street.... manila... yen n i being "tam ciak kui"

open mouth BIG-BIG!!

i m back from manila... at my relative's house now.... so dat's why so free and nothing much to do.... blogging.... has now turned into my remedy for boredom... and jus to pass time and ramble bout random stuff... okie... i m suppose to blog bout manila....

1 thing is for sure.... i feel so blessed to be back in m'sia.... no where better than home.... the conference was great and all.... but i think i m starting to hate travelling and sitting around airports.... bout 30 hours of flying and hanging around airports for the past month or so is getting to me..... i still wanna go places.... but i think not in a long while.... i need a break....

Manila.... was pretty excited to go, didn't sleep much the night before... cos was afraid i'd oversleep.... zzz at 12 woke up at 2 stg... dozed till 4.... we were all quite zombified. yen, foon n i.... went to the airport... only half the people were there... okie.... so we were quite early.... 5 stg n d flight's at 7 20am. well, i always like to be on d safe side of things... nvm, the many "nyek nyek nyek" from nick saying i'm not a seasoned traveller bla bla bla and only need to turn up 1 hr before hand and only crazy ppl would turn up so early at the airport.... oh, nvm.... no point arguing.... at 5 am in the morning, there were many crazy people at the lcct.... like hundreds....

4 hrs of flight.... tried to catch some sleep... guess wat? the seat wouldn't recline.... grrrrr..... dumb air asia, and when they made the announcements, "please put up your seat...." excuse me.... cannot even recline. well found out later on, some of the other seats could recline and some have to really wack it real hard only can... probably was too stiff... anyway caught some winks here and there.... reached at 11 stg, no time difference between manila and here.... met some of the people from the KL church and a pair of twins from every nation new zealand... took a shuttle bus to Manila, the airplane landed in Clark which was bout 2 hrs away.... Clark is like Kelantan or Kedah.... goats, kerbau, paddy fields.... you get the idea.... zinc houses.... entering into Manila, the traffic gets heavier.... see more jipneys(pic above) - open air vans that are the cheapest form of transportation around.... many colourful ones with different patterns and funky graffiti on them.... look sorta cool, but we didn't sit on 1.... for the fact, it only goes short distances then you have to get off and get on another 1 (too troublesome), it's open air and the air is really polluted...

okie now on the conference.... anyone who is interested in listening to the msges at http://www.everynation07recap.com/ everything's there so jus feel free to leech of there. jus checked, the msges not out yet.... gonna be up there soon hopefully... the pictures are up though...

going out soon.... and suddenly feel slweepie.... zzzz.... it's 11 stg and i am slweepie? i need someone to zap me....

heading to manila tomorrow!!! i'm so excited ... actually now i am quite free, already packed everything.... where are my twizzers? they are missing somewhere, i m sure i packed them in.... anyways, no worries... it will turn up. me hopeth so. already marinated the chicken wings n dough is out for pizza for dinner tonight. cleaned the room. nick's out at col. i wonder what do housewives do in their free time? i already boiled the water, cooked chicken porridge for lunch. made d bed. checked my mail this morning. did some last minute packing now. now waiting for yen n foon to get their butts here. that's why i am blogging. maybe i should study... doesn't seem to be the best idea somehow. i can't wait... time seem to pass oh so slowly.... faster LAH!!!

well, i hope i don't last minute forget to bring my toothbrush or glasses. jus a worry wart, i should be alright, after all i did pack all in less than half an hour to come back from adelaide, with help from bunny of course, she's a dear, what would i do without a good housemate? *pengsans*

expecting a lot from God in manila.... n really hoping i won't be so broke - till super broken.... when i come back, thus d mee in my mug n julie's biscuits to snack on... RESIST the temptation of shopping..... blergghhh.... i still need to buy souvenirs right? n mommy's present.... mampus!!!( good news is can share with sis for family presents, haha.... kiam siap nya) i hope it's cooler in manila, sweat sweat sweat.... i SWEAT.... not perspire.... i'm not very ladylike ...

sayang, faster come back from col!!
yen n foon, cepat terbang la.... air asia memang teruk.... change flight time twice.... *hit their head!*
time, faster pass pls....

I M BORED!!!

this is so funny.... noticed the rose??

I have been in hibernation for the past 2 weeks besides going back to Adelaide for the weekend and clinic sessions on weekdays. Think I sort off enjoy the hermit life. Like Yen and I said…. “umang umang” supposedly with orange shell and small yellow flowers… well, it’s sort off nice to ignore the world once in a while and jut do my own thing, not have to worry bout others but just pleasing myself. It’s certainly a selfish way to live in the long run but for short breaks…. It sometimes is a relief… I think sometimes I just want to ignore the entire world including God, everything and just shut up from everything. It is however not possible to do that without people around trying to break into my “umang-umang” shell…. And it does get lonely, thus my online relationships on msn with people… they are safe, they don’t make me feel like I have any obligations to pretend to be anything… oh well, I could look like crap in my pajamas n still yak on msn…. And yet sometimes some people break into my peace and quiet and make me deal with issues I would rather not deal with…. For e.g., family problems, friendship issues, this and that…. May be minor or major… disturbing my currently really quiet and boring life…. and it forces me out of my shell… which is uncomfortable, can see why “umang umang” like to hide in the shell. It’s hard, it’s safe, the world out there is a dangerous place for a softie…. You will get hurt….

Nothing drastic has happened…. I just like my alone moments… and yet not be lonely…. Which is not entirely possible. There was no one in d house for the past 3 days and I was totally fine. I cleaned the kitchen, toilet, baked, plucked oranges…. Watched my Korean shows… as I have been for the past 2 weeks…. And it kills time. It takes up so much time actually just waiting for it to stream, I think by the time I finish watching like 3 korean shows it’s time for me to sleep…. Man, this life certainly is as if I am so super free and need not study… which isn’t true…. I should be studying…. But this GP rotation has been really chill, the docs are nice…. I read up a couple of things… but otherwise, I really don’t see the need to study that hard…. I tried, 1^stnd week, clinical problems in general medicine and surgery… week… oxford clinical handbook. I finished ecg part n some cvs stuff… 2 I think I studied bout 5 cases…. Or better, mostly bout lumps in the neck, groin, breast etc. all my surgery knowledge flew off after hols last year. Might be earlier than that… blerggghhhh… post holiday syndrome… it’s hard to jump start myself to study, I even brought my books back home to study… I didn’t even touch them….my procrastinating self…. I am an expert at wasting time… there should be a Procrastination Competition… I m sure I qualify and have a good chance at winning too, on the other hand, might have a lot of competition… *_*

Looking forward to going back to Adelaide in 4 days times… and even more to going back to KL to my sayang… listening to Disney songs now…. Mulan – a girl worth fighting for. It’s quite funny… at times like this listening to some funny weird songs, just suits current mood…. 4 days I hope it passes soon… but 3 weeks please pass so super slowly… really hope Manila will give me a big kick in the butt and get me moving for some time… you know sometimes when life becomes too mundane, need something different to happen to shake me out of this procrastination… it’s something that is a big problem for me…. When there is something really urgent for me to, I will just do it all out… but then if nothing much turns up after that… I will be taking this break…. Trust me can be quite prolonged… until the next something turns up…. And if it doesn’t I go into this slow mode…. Really kemalasan terserlah…. Nick said… you like a cat, can sleep for 20 hours… I don’t think cats do that. Koalas do that… well, ya…. In super procrastination mode, I probably can laze for 20 hrs… n only have 4 productive hours a day…. Of well, eating, msn ing, watching anime or Korean movies… seeing friends, going out….. I suppose it’s a good thing I m studying medicine as well… need to always study and be on my toes, if I were in one of those courses where can skip a lot of classes and exams twice a year… I think I would be lazing through my year….

a picture says a thousand words..... hehe.... i like this one....

this was how it looked like.... delicious right? hehe.... look at chu yao char... this so so deliciously fattening.... oh well, it's still the best char koay teow I've ever eaten!! lorong selamat ckt!!

sigh... i wanted to put a picture up showing God = Comforter.... well not exactly the blankie punya comforter.... but well, it's nice to have God around me like a comforter on a cold winter's day... with a mug of hot chocolate and mashmallows... n ended up finding something like 15, 000 images that are irrelevant.... showing blankets and other things... well, as a consolation... i found a very nice mug of hot chocolate.... however, i didn't wanna make it seem like God = hot chocolate.... somehow didn't seem very right. though hot chocolate is really good n comforting as well.... it's not dat cold here in penang...actually quite hot and rainy....

think i will need a lot of hot chocolate when i go back.... ( i really don't wanna go back yet- especially maitland)

after lunch....

life has jus improved.... hehe... God is good ya. funny way of improving my life. i got a haircut!! n d best part my mum paid for it.... so la la la.... happy, jus a trim but happy anyway..... n went for lorong selamat char koay teow. good thing the queue not dat long.... but wow.... so oily.... n jonathan (godma's son) ate 3 plates plus 2 ice kacang.... keng chao!! i ate 1 plate n half n ice kacang la.... dun wanna be a ta fei po la.... anyway not dat i can stuff dat much oso.... dat's crazy.!!

so well free haircut.... happily full and officially in a nice aircon room.... outside is super hot.... i am a happier piggy.... :)

yen is gonna kill me... one reason y this pic is not on my friendster... she seldom reads my blog.... hee hee *evil luff* cute mua.... sad yen face.... sulking... ( i m such a nice best friend )

been quite siok sendiri...cam whoring.... snap snap here.... snap snap there.... had a nice time with yin.... i m a bad influence.... cam whoring.... neighbours from hell... and hammer heads.... i m sure she had fun too.... hee hee....

i m bored.... easily bored is a bad thing.... always requirin something to keep me occupied.... so i zzz to kill time... cos i m bored of working.... boring donkey job.... ya.... I M BORED OF BEING BORED!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR........***

i got this from yen... she is so sweet.... hehe, my comfort food and white chocolate somemore... sudden influx of food. i got cheese cake from my mum n seri muka n blue kuih from my sis... hehe.... sadly left the tomyam in d car, but well...so many things to eat d....don't be so tam ciak la...

i am a piggy..... eating n sleeping 2 of my fav past times...