actually i felt like blogging bout an hour ago... but when i am finally looking at this page... i don't particularly feel like it... man, i m fickle, this is tewwible.... as usual, lack of perseverance... and the "want to blog" feeling has passed... and it will return again... esp when the net is not working... which is jus annoying...
when i was napping just now... was just thinking bout a few things... last night i had a very scary dream... i dreamt i witnessed a murder, this lady just shot her father in the back somewhere near a swimming pool and somehow it had something to do with a piece of butter and that's the evidence that she did it... so she was thinking where to hide the butter and somehow in my mind, i came up with the idea of melting it... sigh... what am i doing "helping" a murderer hide evidence and of all things a piece of butter? but the dream was quite scary...it was very real.. and i could remember details... the lady had long hair, she's quite tanned, and her father was quite fat... very actually...can see the layers of fat.... waaaaaaaa..... man, i should use my brain space more constructively...
anyways this isn't what i wanted to blog about... i was just thinking of agoraphobia... that's social phobia although the definition is way more complicated than that... and i was analyzing myself... i know i do have some of it to some extend... although i think it's pretty normal to have it now and then as long as it's not causing my life to be dysfunctional... sometimes i just really feel like "mengabaikan diri" cos i don't feel like facing the world... or more like the demands of the world on me... like smiling or talking to people when i totally don't feel like it and having to force myself cause i don't wanna be rude or mean.... this doesn't happen all the time. generally, i m quite sociable....depending on my mood... some times, i just don't feel like talking to people up to the extend, i don't feel like lugging myself up from bed at 7 am in the morning, catch bus to go hospital or see patients who don't wish to be bugged by med students anyway... and it goes in a cycle.... but lately i haven't been feeling like that at all.... hehe, and a lot of it i think has to do with the environment i am in as well...
well, call me easily influenced by circumstances... but i am enjoying my spinal rotation, it's quite slack although there's 8 clock ward rounds every morning... the docs bring us students for coffee, they are quite jolly, they tell funny jokes, one of the fellows is frm UK, he practises his glares (learnt that frm my 5th yr) on us, my 5th year is lovely... dat's an aussie term... wonderful, brilliant, wicked... really inspired by her, she's such a nice person... really... i mean she's not perfect... but she makes an effort to be helpful... to be nice to people, small lil things... more than the big things... that makes a difference... she stopped to help this old couple find the their way, they didn't even asked, she figured they looked lost and stopped and asked them... she puts up the X rays before the doc even ask her to, offers to see patients... we practised OSCE stuff together... and being with her jus inspire me to be make more of an effort, to be more helpful... somehow...
a few conclusions... it is important to place/position myself in a inspiring enviroment... people who will inspire me and help me grow... and hopefully one day i shall be an inspiring person as well... well, need to be inspired before i can go out there to inspire others...
enviromental factors can do a lot to kill off the "spirit" in me... the people, the way they behave... time, hospital, friends... can all influence me in a very bad way if i m not careful...
one person can make all the difference in the lives of people around them... i shall aspire to be an inspiring person... and a person can change the environment he/she is in but choosing to be positive and helpful....
anyways, George (that's my 5th yr...her name's actually Georgina-famous five, people?) thanks for being an inspiration... really enjoyed doing this MSA with you... you made all the difference
( it might have been totally boring otherwise)... Continue to shine brightly~! Thanks for everything...*hugs*
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment