Monday, January 16, 2006

i wonder and i ponder...

about many things in life...yes, my tots r disorganized...yet i can see so clearly tru them... many a times, people x understand nor can they no wat is going tru my mind...cos it confuses dem...it goes like a bullet train...or it looks like such a hurricane amount of junk blasting at all directions.... n sometimes i dun even understand myself... n i no wat it is to be confused...to not no who u r...to b ....LOST... to lose my identity in d midst of "life".... n to jus stare at myself n see someone who is a stranger... thinking of d song "reflection"

"...when will my reflection show who i am in side....?"

n i no longer want to b lost.... d times i struggle wid myself to be who i am n who d world wants me to b n even who i think God wants me to be... i fight against change... i wrestle wid myself... i debate wid God... y? i asked... why do all these bad things happen? why me? how now?

n somehow it may all seems like total confusion, all is lost....extreme darkness....

n n d midst of this darkness... a light shines... i m the way, the truth and the light...

and there shines hope, of a future without darkness.... bright and true...real....for darkness is jus d absence of light... n when light comes...darkness shall b banished....forever from my life....

and this light keeps shining....no matter how small or dim...it perseveres tru d darkness....going strong... many a times darkness threaten to overwhelm it...yet it quietly lit d way... shining...into d deepest depths of my soul....showing me among d darkest secrets of my heart, there lies hope... faith....n love....

thank you, Father... for this light...

" All that came to be was alive with his life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines on in the dark, and darkness has never mastered it. "
john 1:4,5