i m so suppose to be studying right now. but jus feel unsettled, dat's the most accurate word for what i m feeling rite now. jus not quite right but not too wrong either like got a lump in my heart...was going tru some online surveys. found a web where they pay u jus to do online surveys. onw 100% it works. anyway no harm trying out n oso get a free mac, i m still kinda wary but well, who knwos... if i do get a free mac in the near future i will recommend it to you guys out there.... anyway back to this unsettled feeling, was feeling kinda excited... prospects of making money online.... hmmmm.... on the hadn quite wary that nothing is free in this world n sure enough after a few links, some offers require u to spend even 49 cents jus to qualify for the free gift... man, FREE is not equivalent to free id have to take up offers that require to u pay to qualify for the FREE gift.... blerrgggghhhhhhhhh...

was thinking. how come i am not so half enthusiastic bout the things of God compared to like.... getting a FREE gift that i don need? just a thought.... jus sat there for a while n prayed.... bit unhappy with myself cos of that.... ya, sure i m human, maybe tad bit materialistic, i reckon it's a female thing to like sales and free things n stuff well i dun really need but jus feel like having.... for the heck of it, well, those who know me well, i m a total hoarder, can u believe i had stuff from primary school up till last year. and dat's cos my papa chucked most of them out cos he was renovating the house. sigh... and i was lamenting for quite a while bout my stuff.... and well, on the other hand, i m kinda not too fuss ed bout expensive stuff i lose. like i lose like gold chains, white chain chains... expensive trinklets, money.... not that small sums either... and i jus sorta got over it and well, wasn't too sad bout it for too long, i lost my laptop.... well someone stole it...some would be depressed for a while.... i got over it, maybe in 3 days? wondering if i m crazy.... 1, i still think i m a bit materialistic cos i love shopping n nice stuff...altho i dun go for prada, gucci or anything like that.... 2, i think despite that i m not too fussed bout losing the stuff i already have.... sorta like.... i dun even know if you get what i mean.... like i like to have stuff, but i dun love them till i cant bear to part with them or throw a big fit if i lose stg big....

i really should be studying and not pondering on all these things... turned up my fav worship songs n jus worshipped for a while, felt somewhat better, hope God will shine a torch into some areas of my heart and come out with this really meticulous analysis of what's in there. sometimes i just cant figure myself out....maybe i don't really wanna know. ignorance = bliss.... knowledge = responsibility.... maybe the great reason is i m not ready to know too much... i might not like myself much after that....


STUDY TIME CHUA SU LING.....!!!!!!!!!