psalm 23

yesterday i had a bit of a crappy.. .short to say, was not a very good day... 1st i was suffering from a bout of "malaise' = malas ness... and i didn't feel like seeing patients, not to say i screwed up a jelco insertion, well, it's my 1st try on a real person and ya splattered blood on the blanket... okie, the poor patient was jabbed 5 times..... actually 6 times including the final jab by the intern who resorted to the anticubital fossa cos well practically all the veins in d hands were not useable, non accessible or jus plain thrombosed... i had only 1 try okie... blergh.... felt incompetent, why can't i get this right? frustrations....

anyway i went home after cardiology tute which wasn't too bad cos at least i could answer a couple of things cos i read up on aortic stenosis jus a few days back, altho i sorta forgot minor bits and pieces, seriously feel so...otak udang.... argggghhhh! brain cells!! wake up!!!

wanted to nap but guessed wat? i couldn't sleep.... even tho i was tired, jus want to sleep all my troubles away.... i m usually quite a piggie, jus sleep, things alwyas seem better after a nice long nap... but crappologiness....x sleep... had all sorts of bad thoghts coming into my mind, you're gonan fail your exams... u x make a good doctor, incompetent, useless... jus wished all those voices would jus shut up and let me sleep in peace.... arrrggGHHHHHH!!! felt totally yukkified!!! grrrrrrrrrr....

at last i gave up sleeping and jus woke up .... took a shower...starting praying and singing... my soul.... mildly pacified... reached for my bible and started reading psalm 23... again and again jus reciting the words to myself... somehow very soothing... and comforting.... after 3 or 4 times... think i finally felt somewhat at peace.... phew!!! God, thanks for great words of gentleness, comfort and encouragement... imagine like a little sheep ( ya, i no they r called lambs) just being lead to green pastures and quiet waters by the shepherd... such calmness and security... and sheep being the stupid creatures they are will follow their shepherd blindly... well, at that moment i x mind being a sheep man... jus lie on nice green grass and watch the gentle quiet waters jus shining under the sun....

Psalm 23
A psalm of David.

1 The LORD is my shepherd,
I shall not be in want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
4 Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death, [a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

thank you God for such a beautiful psalm...