i m leaving...

it sound so final...as if i m never coming back to good lil' penang with its asam laksa, char koay teow, small roads with lots of bikes... lotsa of very ole' trees... n my beloved family n friends... everything seems to b a daze....*sees stars....* or maybe i m jus stoned as usual...

maybe reality haven't hit home hard enough...some days i would be...o,jus another day...la la laaa! other days... oh no! i'll leaving in a few days time! n now it's down to 2 days... n some people already said goodbye... n some getting ready to send me to d land of koalas... n my world seems to be spinning ever so slowly... no longer hectic n full of activity as last month...sorta crawling yet before i know it...it's time to go! procrastinated big time... jus finished major packing on monday... still got my hand carry to go... n finally decided to get dhl to post my books down... n it cost a bomb! well... i supposed it's money well spent, considering how much money i actually spend shopping n buying not so useful stuff....hehe... a lot...although it doesnt ever feel dat way...

it felt more sad last last week... before all my pmc buddies left for rural posting...more like good bye...cos i said goodbye to dem..knowing d next time i c dem would be in december... n it was sad... i sat in my room crying while listening to abi's version of "leaving on a jet plane II"...it was supposed to b funny yet i was dem touched dat he actually remembered n bothered...wat a sweet guy... n pressing cousin's "i love u" bear...can u believe it actually blink red in d cheeks when pressed on zee tummy? so cute... n sam ko's porcupine...which has a funny bone stuck in its mouth...

n guess wat? d following wk i saw dem again...man, it's goodbye all over again.. n this time seriously knowing it's d last time...for a long time....man, if they turn up at d airport...altho i do wish dearly they would..it would be like saying goodbye 3 or 4 times...hehe... i m never much of a good bye person... sadness... altho must say i m sorta passed dat stage...maybe dat's y i m sorta blur... not really feeling anything much at this point....it's jus sorta another day of my life... walking obliviously into a new phase of my life...not really knowing what to expect or who i'll meet...trusting God'll make it work somehow....

for me, it's not goodbye forever... it's hello...new life in adelaide...