double pissed-ness!!!

God help me... i cant imagine how life can be so irritating, wid such idiotic ppl ard...today my patience has been tested to d max, was trying so hard to ctrl my hurricane of a temper! i din wanna do stg i will regret later on... how hard i struggle, only God knows...only ppl equally hot tempered will understand this struggle wid my flesh....

this goading to explode in every direction causing massive disaster everywhere i go. like a hurricane!small but very poweful! will cause a lot of casualties n destruction in its path... i dun want to be liddat. a hurricane for God yes...not a disastrous one.

the ppl in my life today, they really pissed me! 1st my mum, she has many issues in life n she has the habbit of taking it out on others when she's stressed out.so as usual being the most tolerant person in my house(trust me, i m besides my daddy), got it kao kao...sadness, jus let it go.

okie...went online to let off a bit of steam... God helped me... hehe... jack was online, so was my panda, n oso other ppl...so i complaint n lament panjang lebar, den i okie d....guess wat happened next? not the end of it yet....

a very close sister called.... was okie d..so tot jus a social call, x think too much bout it...

not gonna be let off so easily, satan not gonna let up yet, passed 1st test, next 1....harder 1, not gonna give up screwing up my life so easily....he's such a bugger! wanna swat him like a fly! God is jus gonna let Him have it kao kao in hell...such annoying ness, u can only imagine this mosquito buzzing ard refusing to leave you in peace, God is not allowing him to do more den dat, so he's maximising his destructive behaviour by goading me into behaving badly n i do fall sometimes esp when i am angry at others...x think so straight, n my defenses at its lowest..as in

1 peter... the devil is always prowling, waiting for an opportunity to devour us. so we must be on guard n aware of the dangers. God said in ur anger, x not let it lead u into sin.

so many times, i have to struggle wid surrendering my temper to God... to lay down this crown before my God to let Him work to remove the darkness in my life...ug! painful experience! wished i had less issues or easier ones, it comes wid being head strong n stubborn! hard as nails...not jaded but tough, in n out! may not give the impression of being so...most ppl think i'm a small lil gal, cutesy like d type can pinch cheeks 1...once i start talking, they no otherwise, this is not a person u wanna cross...a very hot chilli padi...can be quite jia lat if bitten into...x taste very good...u know la, got capsaisin, pain producing substance...sure painful...no one ask to bite la... this is call being too smart... i'm too much a handful for everyone to handle but jus nice for God.

God can mould this claypot into a porcelain in His time... x c it soon... one day...after being baked many times in d refiner's fire, sure to be perfectly wonderfully n fearfully me...believe dat...

He who began a good work in me will complete it till d day of Christ Jesus.He is faithful.Amen.